Coffee and Cocoa

The other day, I was sitting in a dog run with my new dog, Coffee.

Coffee’s great inside the apartment. She plays, she eats, she pees. Outdoors, Coffee holds back on all of these and focuses on her fear of trucks, helicopter noise, a child screaming – okay, I don’t blame her on that last one.

As she sat there, shaking like a leaf, I sat there thinking, “Why can’t she see the positives of being outside and in a dog run? She can run around without a leash on. She can play and be social. She can pee and poop wherever she wants to without any repercussions. Can’t she see how good her life is?”

But you see Coffee is a rescue dog who clearly was not allowed outside much and certainly not in a noisy city. To her the great outdoors is completely overwhelming. She was taken out of a rural area in Texas and shipped to a shelter in Long Island. Then, she was adopted by people who live in a noisy city with no fenced in backyard.

If I said to Coffee, “Just be positive. Look at all the fabulous things around you and ignore the fact that it’s a chaotic, noisy world complete with noisy children that currently are sounding like hyenas. Accept it and move on to happiness. So, you were ripped out of the a place you were used to and possibly loved? So what? So, you were put in a crate and shipped on in the cargo area of a plane? So what? So, you were then kept in a cage most of the time and put on display for humans to stare at and purchase you like an object? Honey, if I were you, I’d just be positive and get over it.” a sane person would say, “Shari, you’ve lost your mind.” 

First off, this person would tell me “She does not understand a word you are saying. You need to have your head examined.” Second, the person would probably say, “Be patient. She needs to get through her fears before she can start enjoying all the great things the world has to offer her. You can’t expect her to just see what you want her to see.” And third, the person would wrap it up with, “Just keep taking her out and let her get over it, little by little. Slow and steady wins the race.”

Fair assessment.

BUT, when it comes to people, many who would say to give a dog time to adjust, would not have the same kindness when it comes to their fellow humans.

There are people who seem to think that we can just focus on the positive all the time. Rejected from the fifteenth film festival this month? “Smile, life is good.” Can’t get any freelance work and wondering how you are going to pay your bills? “Amazing. You’re fantastic. I know you know that.” Everyone around you is achieving the goals you want to achieve, but it’s not happening for you no matter how hard you try, and you are fed up and don’t want to fill out one more form for a grant? “What’s the matter with you? Just keep going and enjoy the process.”

I get that outlook affects performance and the ability to enjoy your life. Overall, yes, try to see the positive. It can help keep things in perspective and remind you that all is not doom and gloom. But sometimes when the world has caved in and you are overwhelmed by it, you too are entitled to sit on a bench, shaking and wondering if you can just crawl back into your nice, warm bed and eat a treat. I personally am into hot chocolate with lots of marshmallows right now…