I cry fowl!
Yes, it’s national chicken month! I love ducks. I am not so in love with chickens (I more feel sorry for them.) and I absolutely despise geese. They are nasty creatures who interfere with film shoots and poop all over the place but I digress.
Let’s talk about fowl!
Chickens live within the industry (and I’m not talking about the Muppets…they are awesome), ducks exist mostly in the indie film world but can be found occasionally in Hollywood and geese are unfortunately everywhere.
I know, either Shari is writing one of those horrible logic questions for the standardized test industry (“If chickens live mostly on land and ducks live mostly in water will you ever find a goose in a swimming pool?”), she’s lost it, or she has yet begun to explain what this all means. Read on!
Chickens are generally frightened creatures who sadly continue to run around in circles even after their heads have been cut off but expect to be fed by humans every day and have come to rely on that. I do feel sorry for them. They really can’t help it. They live most of their lives cooped up in cages and have been conditioned to be this way. They can’t fly very far either which is just sad for a bird. However, they are a great analogy for people high up in the film industry. You have a bunch of people afraid of not making enough money or alienating any paying audience member because again, money. They live in cubicles and they do not have any choice but to show up in the conference room down the hall to sit with all the other chickens who peck at each other and their keyboards hoping to win the blue ribbon / Academy Award. They go around in circles with their content, always doing remakes and sequels, which are basically remakes with different dialog. And by staying in their frightened circles continue to expand their wealth but tighten their creativity. They live in a very small world without much opportunity to explore new ideas. But hey, they have heated pools to float around in and large mansions to hide away in. All that money and they can’t fly very far in their minds.
Ducks are not frightened off easily like the chicken and will take what they can get. First off, if you offer a duck Cheerios, the duck will gladly accept them without milk because there is no expectation for milk or fruit for that matter. Did you ever notice how Cheerios look like life preservers when they float in your bowl? Indie filmmakers are humble enough to accept the basic life preserver when faced with no funds. Okay, can’t get a million dollar budget, but I got a free location! WHOO HOO! Cheerio heaven! That location saved my shoot. I’m doing great! DUCK is all about creativity. Well, I’m referring to the acronym D.U.C.K. (Drop, Upend, Create and Kindle) Abandon the traditional way of doing things (You can’t afford it anyway!), turn everything on it’s head (Bob Fosse could not turn his feet out like a ballet dancer, so he turned them in and created his whole style based on that.), come up with a unique idea (Necessity is the mother of invention, after all.) and ignite your way by executing on that idea. (A true indie filmmaker balks at the fear of something being a total disaster because it always is in one way or another but still manages to sort itself out.) And as stated, ducks do fight back. Frighten a duck? It’ll nip at you before it goes into the water unlike the chicken that will just flee to it’s desk in the corner. Take that you industry exec who just cannot understand my film concept, I nip at you! And then I’ll go back to friends in the water(ing hole) with others who understand me and can feel my pain.
Geese are another matter. They are the people who shit on you. And unfortunately, these people are everywhere. They step in where you don’t want them, they walk around looking all interesting but when you are not looking (or even when you are, they really don’t care) they take a poop on your picnic blanket where you’ve nicely displayed all of your food. And they are nasty about it.
Beware the geese! Be like the duck! And pity the chicken!